Health Aware Grumpys With Added Vaguely Famous Celebrity

It has been a while since I made a contribution to these very pages but something from very, very (far too) close to home has brought me back. In an effort to raise awareness about a recent upturn in strange medical symptoms among the populous, a Mossley residents group have brought out the big guns and gone to the media armed with an e-mail from Erin Brockovich and the presence of one of the cast of Hollyoaks. Yes, Hollyoaks!

Worried residents call in Erin Brockovich to back campaign over Mossley toxin fears (source)

I appreciate that what's written above isn't, unlike the other entries on this esteemed site, humorous in any way at all but there are reasons. The first is that I actually know some of the people in that photograph and the second is that I appear to be developing a strange headache. My throat is starting to feel little scratchy too.

If there's one good thing to come out of the situation though it's that the lack of any close resemblances between the people in the picture does go some way to disproving the theories of people in neighbouring towns which state that the family trees in Mossley consist of a single branch.

Now, with that out of the way, I'm off to be genuinely worried.